what if guys came coffee… i’ll have one ejaculatte please
I just spit out my coffee
You’re supposed to swallow it
So apparently you can make this little thing called salt glitter.
Basically, you like put food coloring on salt and cook it and then when it’s ready, it becomes salt glitter.
Do you even realize how many spn creatures are affected by salt? You could go around throwing this shit at demons all like
on the bright side i am not addicted to cocaine
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
one time in math class my teacher was really pissed at us and he was yelling “DO YOU EVEN KNOW BASIC MATH? DO YOU KNOW ADDITION? WHAT’S TWO PLUS TWO? COREY, WHAT’S TWO PLUS TWO?” and poor corey wasn’t paying attention so i leaned over to him and whispered “seven” and he blurted out “SEVEN” and i have never laughed harder and i doubt i ever will
anyone wanna make out… a check to me for 500,000 dollars
The year is 2137. You open your tumblr profile, again after many years. You click on the message box. 1 message. You click on it.
‘Yes, same here! :)’
And you don’t know what it was referring to beacause you don’t have a fucking sent messages box.
This went from very sad to very very relatable
i lied to all of you
im actually a 47 year old man making my grandson post for selfies
and im sorry
*sweats nervously* uhM my grandpa gave birth at 14 and my dad gave birthday at 18
Men can give birth?
*SWEATS REALLY NERVOUSLY*